During the first three months of B’s life, I was struggling with not only her health issues and mine, but also with some very unexpected, disturbing psychic images that kept invading my mind.  Primarily, her incredibly tiny, frail frame kept provoking horrific images of how vulnerable she was to physical harm.  To be clear, I’m not saying I had urges to harm her myself – very far from that – rather, I kept getting psychic images of her being harmed by others, and it was nauseating and gut-wrenching.

These images popped into my head nearly daily for weeks, and I had no idea where they were coming from.  I didn’t know who these “others” were, or whether the images were premonitions or echoes from a past life.  I didn’t know why they kept flooding my mind when all they did was bring me sheer agony.  All I knew was that they were incredibly heartbreaking and disturbing, and I had no idea how to stop them from pervading my mind.

Two months after B’s birth, I had a Reiki session with a medium friend to help me heal from the surgery.  It was during that session that I finally got an explanation for the terrible images that were haunting me.  My friend and I simultaneously began getting intuitive information about a past life B. and I had shared – sadly, an extremely tragic, devastating past life.

It was the 17th century, and I was an uneducated, impoverished girl from the Romani culture, also known as the Gypsies, who was seduced by a wealthy European aristocrat after a chance encounter.  The Gypsy was young and naïve and ended up falling in love with him, but he’d only wanted a fling.  Unfortunately she’d gotten pregnant, and when he found out he broke it off.  He let the whole affair slip to his associates while out drinking one night, and they were horrified because of the social class system of the time.  It was unthinkable that the aristocrat had ventured outside his economic circle, let alone his entire culture.

The Gypsy girl carried the baby to term, isolated and shunned by her own tribe for the same reasons.  She was watched, monitored throughout the entire pregnancy, though she had no idea.  When she went into labor and gave birth, several men showed up and immediately took the newborn from her.  The baby, a little girl then, too, was B.  This is incredibly difficult to write, even now… but they killed the infant in front of her, to send the message that neither she nor the child would ever be a part of their world or access any of the aristocrat’s money or position.  The Gypsy girl, understandably, was devastated and killed herself soon after.

This incredibly traumatic past life came pouring forth during the session, and I cried and cried in release.  I could feel the Gypsy girl’s pain and agony, and all the horrific images that had been flooding my mind since B’s birth finally made sense.  This past life incarnation of my soul was reliving her own trauma, triggered by the fact that once again, B. and I were mother and daughter.  I’ve found this to be common in my work with clients; deeply wounded or traumatized past life incarnations can be triggered by specific current-life events, and will then come forward to tell their story and seek healing and release.

Occasionally, the past life incarnation is so damaged that he or she does not cross over properly in death.  This means they are not able to meet with guides and other masters, perform their current and past life reviews, and gain broader soul perspective, healing and balance.  Instead, they remain fragmented from the Higher Self, stuck in a closed cycle of pain and misery, unable to see the bigger picture or be reunited with loved ones.

Rather quickly, my friend and I realized that the poor Gypsy girl had never crossed over, and we helped her to do that in the Reiki session.  Immediately I felt lighter – once these incarnations cross over, they are able to do the work and healing they are meant to, and can reintegrate with our Higher Selves.  These soul parts can then continue to work with us in this life, but from the Other Side, with proper perspective and healing.

I asked the Gypsy girl to join me in this life as I raise little B. – a do-over, of sorts, since she never got to raise her baby girl.  I now see her often in meditation holding her own little baby, and she is much happier, lighter and at peace.  I can feel her joy at having released and healed her trauma.  And I have never once gotten a violent image again since the day of the Reiki session.

It was an unexpected, powerful experience, to say the least.  And it is just the beginning, I think, of my journey in this life with little B.