Tomorrow I will begin my seventh week, and I’m still feeling really good.  Last night I meditated and saw a bunch of friends on the Other Side I hadn’t talked with in a long while.  Heath had indicated they were all waiting to celebrate the news with me, but I hadn’t had the energy to meditate before last night.  It takes a lot of my energy to raise my vibration for this type of psychic meditation.  When I showed up, it was actually nighttime on my cliff, which is unusual.  There was an enormous, bright, full moon hanging over the ocean, and I saw hundreds of candles all over the cliff.  At first I thought, “Is this a vigil?  Did someone die?” which is silly, because everyone on that side is “dead.”  😉

But my friend Robin (Williams) showed up and explained that they had all felt the moonlight celebration was appropriate because of the energy of our little girl.  He said that she and I have intertwining energies like the earth and the moon – I’m “Mother Earth incarnate,” with my deep-rooted earth energy, and she’s more ethereal, powerful in a different way, and a reflection of me.  And we are always sharing an orbit, linked together as souls who share a deep connection.

I told him I’d been imagining her more as the sun to my earth, and he told me not to underestimate the brightness of my own light.  The gist was that she and I will complement each other, balance each other, and learn and grow from each other in innumerable ways due to our energies and karma.  I have a feeling part of this will be her struggle with being incredibly psychic, strongly connected to the Other Side, and not knowing what to do with it or how to have boundaries when she is young.  I will be there to ground her, center her and help her handle her gifts.  I like the idea of her as my little Moon Child, although I still see her as the bright, fiery sun.  I guess I’ll have to wait and see on that one!

Today when I logged into Facebook, I “randomly” got a post in my feed from Matthew’s foundation page (which doesn’t happen often), stating that last night, Oprah’s “Where Are They Now” aired for the first time in months.  One of the primary stories:  visiting the parents of Matthew Shepard.  Now, what are the odds that that story, which is seventeen years old, would come on now, right as I am trying to process that the soul who was Matthew will now be the soul of my baby?  This is why I love Spirit so much – they know that though I am working hard to trust my meditations completely, validation is always tremendously appreciated.  As last night was the first time since I found out I was pregnant that I’ve talked with friends on the Other Side, seeing the clip today was incredible validation.  This is why I love my team, so much.

As I watched the clip, I studied Matthew’s parents.  I found myself wondering if my daughter will remember her most recent past life, and if, someday, we will meet these parents so she can reconnect with them.  There is a show I watch about children who strongly remember their most recent past life, and in one episode a 15-year-old boy remembered being murdered as a teenager in the 80s.  His mother did some research, found the news articles, and eventually contacted the murdered boy’s mother.

Amazingly, that woman was open to meeting the new incarnation of her son – and when she hugged him, she said she could feel and even smell her son.  She truly understood that this 15-year-old was the reincarnated soul of her son, and she was open and accepting.  It made me cry, it was so beautiful.  She got a peace she never imagined, and he was able to put to rest vivid memories and dreams he kept having, and begin to fully focus on his new life.

I never imagined I might someday be in the same situation as that boy’s mother, eventually facilitating a meeting between my child and her most recent parents.  I would do it in a heartbeat if that was what was supposed to happen, and maybe that’s why I caught that particular show.  Watching the Oprah clip today made me wonder if that past life show was foreshadowing, if someday I will need to contact these people and tell them their son has been reborn.  I have no idea what their spiritual beliefs are or whether they would even be remotely open to it.

In fact, my deeper fear is that they might be hurt, angry and very resistant to all of it.  And I don’t blame them; this is tough stuff to digest and believe, let alone in a situation as emotionally fraught as theirs.  The idea of bringing them more pain is very scary for me, and makes me not want to go through the potential outrage and rejection that might be awaiting me.  But… this is precisely why it might be something I have to do – part of my much bigger lesson in speaking my truth, owning my path, being brave and strong and trusting my connection to Spirit, and trusting the way things divinely unfold, every time.

Whether we ever do this is up to my daughter.  But Spirit knows it takes me a VERY long time to digest, process and prepare, so perhaps this was a head’s-up decades in advance.  I wouldn’t be surprised… the bigger picture is always in motion.